Purging Past Burdens Can Set You Free

Life goes in cycles. You've got ups and downs, the good, the bad, the happy, the sad, and on and on. Not one person on this earth is perfect. Each and every one of us throughout these cycles have made mistakes due to bad choices or decisions that we didn't quite think through or maybe we thought through and didn't see the whole picture. We've experienced pain, anger, loss, fear. Some of this was due to others and some was due to choices we have made or things we have said or done. We have all lost loved ones or experienced something in the low points of life that we aren't exactly proud of.

As I said before, life comes in cycles. With each of these cycles, there comes lessons, and it is our responsibility to learn from them. If we don't learn the lesson, we will continue to experience it until we do. That is just how life works. Usually, the low points of the cycles come with past traumas, or demons of the past, if you will, that rear their ugly heads from time to time, normally when we are already down on our luck to begin with. They cause us to get off track. Sometimes they even block us from moving forward on the positive paths due to the fear or anger left behind from the reflection of these past traumas. Fear of repeating the pains that we once experienced. Fear of not being good enough. Fear of failure. Fear that everyone will look down upon you if you are not living up to their standards and beliefs and living by their rules. Anger toward yourself for letting these things happen and not being willing to stand up for yourself or against those that are causing the pain.

One of the biggest steps in self-care is to learn to deal with this fear and anger that comes up from time to time to hold you in place. It's learning to accept the past for what it is and to let it go, so that you can move on to a more beautiful future with confidence and pride. It's learning to forgive yourself and others, and to move on to have new adventures and wonderful new experiences free from the burdens of that past that weigh you down. As you can imagine, this is not the easiest thing to do. It takes work. It takes being completely and totally honest with yourself about who you really are, what choices you made, and why you made them. Doing this will bring a range of emotions: anger, hate, joy, laughter. Trust me...your emotions will be all over the place. You will be on a crazy, emotional rollercoaster ride the entire time. Memories tend to do that to you. I can't promise you that this process will be easy, but I can promise you that it will be worth it. So, how does this process work???

Well, everyone has different ways of dealing with the past and finding their authentic self. Some try to ignore it or lock it up. That, I can assure you, does NOT work, for it all comes out in the end in one way or another. Finding the way that works for you is up to the individual. I can, however, give you an example of what I did, and am still in the process of doing. This process is not a one time thing. You just have to deal with it as it comes up, for the mind tends to work in mysterious ways. Hopefully this can give you a basis to start from.

To start, I bought a journal. Journaling can be quite therapeutic. It can help you to recall the past, as well as get all of the jumbled thoughts out of your head and onto paper, which helps to clear your mind when you have a million thoughts racing around in there. This, in turn, gives you a chance to visually see your thoughts so you can sort through them. I decided that the way I wanted to reflect upon my past was to start as early as I could remember and write down all of my memories that seemed significant. Free write, which means you just start writing whatever comes into your head, whether it makes sense or not. Don't worry about punctuation being correct or it all making sense... just write.

I chose to start with past pains, things that were hurtful in my life that could have contributed to my low self-esteem, to my hurt, to my anger, to my fears. I reflected on how I see myself, and why I feel that I see myself the way that I do. I reflected on people who hurt me and times when the decisions I made hurt myself and the people around me. I reflected on deaths that occurred and the pain from those losses. I reflected on life lessons that were thrown at me, and how I handled them. With this, you want to also look at why you handled them the way you did. I wrote about decisions I had made and why I made the decisions that I did. I reflected on what happened because of those decisions and how I handled it. Now, before you get fear of writing all of this down in the chance that someone might see it and get offended, you can always burn it after you are done, which is what I did. These are YOUR thoughts and feelings. You are only doing it to help heal yourself, and that is no one's business but your own, unless YOU choose otherwise. You are the only one that needs to see it because it is solely to benefit YOU.

After I got done with that part, and it took awhile, I went back and reflected on the good in my life. I did this last because I wanted to get all of the bad out of my head first. Then, I wanted to clean it up by remembering the good times and good people to "lighten the load," if you will. I will tell you, I was surprised to see that thinking of good times was more difficult, at first. I believe it was because I spent so much time being hurt and angry, and dwelling on the bad times, that it overshadowed the good times. Figuring this out was definitely part of my growth. Once I got going, though, the good seemed to take over and push the bad right out the window. Part of the "letting go" process, I suppose. Whatever it was, it worked, and it sure was a wonderful feeling, thinking about the good times that I hadn't thought of in so long.

After you get it all out on paper, read over it. I mean really SEE it. Think about it all, and as you do, appreciate everything you have gotten yourself through and how far you've come. Think about the lessons you have learned. Think about how the events made you feel and how you reacted to them. Forgive yourself. Forgive those that hurt you. Accept that mistakes were made and know that you did the best that you could with what you had at that time. Know that it is okay to make mistakes because that is how we learn. Be proud of who you are and what you have gotten through. Be grateful for all of the life lessons and realize that even through the rough times, there is always something to be grateful for. Let go of all of those hurts and people that no longer hold a spot in your life. Wish them well and let them go. Make peace with the past and accept that it was only a chapter in your whole journey. Notice your beauty. Notice your good qualities. Be proud. You did it!

This brings peace to your whole being. It helps to give you confidence to move into your next chapter with ease in knowing that you no longer have to fear what others think. You no longer live in the shadow of a past that you thought you needed to be ashamed of. You no longer have to live with the weight of the burdens from that past that has haunted your thoughts and your dreams at night for so many years. You are free to be your true, authentic self, a person that can accept yourself for who you are. You are beautiful, strong, and worthy of a life free of worries, fear, and anger. Reflect on your hopes and dreams and start moving toward them. Choose a plan, set your goals, and go for it! Be stubborn. Be brave! You can do this!!!!

This is just how I chose to reflect on my past. There are many ways you can do this. If any of you would like to share how you purged your past and let go of what was holding you down, please leave a comment. It really could help others to be free of their burdens, and it's always a good feeling when you get to help others.

Thank you for taking the time to read. I hope to hear some of your thoughts and opinions on the subject.

Until next time,

Blessings and love.