Do you ever feel like you don't fit in?

Do you ever feel like you don't fit in? That is OKAY! Yes...you read that right! It just means that you were meant for bigger things. You chose to come here to learn lessons to help create a better world for all of those around you. This is a lesson that it took me way too long to learn, but I am oh so grateful that I did. And so begins my journey...

You may be asking what this has anything to do with self-care and self-love, but trust me, My Friend, it has absolutely EVERYTHING to do with it. It's always best to start at the beginning. No worries...I won't bore you with all of the crazy details of my childhood. I will just say that all through my childhood, I always felt different, like I didn't quite fit in. I was always searching for ways to fit in. I always felt alone. I knew things most people didn't know. I sometimes felt like I was going crazy. I questioned my existence. I never really understood. I experienced some hard times. I lost many people I loved dearly, people that I cherished. Often times I felt alone, even in a crowd. As I grew, I made stupid decisions and some pretty stupid mistakes. I learned some lessons, many of them the hard way. I have met some amazing people, and I've lost some who I thought were pretty amazing. I have been loved and have been knocked down by people I loved. Through it all, I've learned SO MUCH!

Fast forward to about 6 years and 4 months ago, and this will bring you to the beginning of an amazing journey of friendship and love and loss and faith and love again...the beginning of Josh and I's story. It was at a time in my life where I had NO intention of dating ANYONE. I was stubborn and determined to be on my own. I had just gone through a huge heartbreak, or so I thought at the time (I really had no idea). Through some crazy, unexpected events, I started talking to a man who was determined to make me like him. We talked for a couple of months and finally decided to meet. We met one night, in a public place and talked for hours. We had some pretty intense conversations and some laughs. At the end of the night, he walked me to my car, gave me a quick hug, and we went our separate ways. Honestly, I didn't think I would ever hear from him again, and I was okay with that. You see, from the very beginning, I knew that he wanted children of his own and that I could not have children. So, I was sure that I would never see him again. Boy...was I wrong.

From the beginning of this friendship, I knew that he wanted children of his own and that I could not have them so I was determined to keep him at arm's length. God had a different plan. As time went on, our friendship grew into much more. As our relationship grew, his yearning for children of his own stayed. After about 2 years, I finally let my guard down. I knew I was falling in love, and no matter what I did, there was no stopping it. Once I let my guard down, life decided to throw me one of those lessons I was talking about earlier...only this one, was one of the hardest battles I ever had to fight, and I have fought a lot.

It just so happened that about a week prior to the start of this lesson, I had a dream predicting it. Yes, you read that right, and it wasn't the first time that I had done that. Then, about a week after the dream, Josh showed up at the house. This man, the man who had become my best friend, had showed up to tell me that he couldn't do it anymore. That he had to go and find someone to start a family with. I knew that as much as he meant to me, I had to let him, and it wasn't easy. Right then and there, my world as I knew it stopped. I felt empty. The next week, he had stopped in to tell me that he met someone. My dream had literally just played out exactly as it was when I dreamt it. My heart was crushed, shattered into a million pieces, unlike any heartache I had ever felt up to this point. What was I to do?

For about 3 weeks, I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep. He would still text me and check on me. I was numb. He was my best friend. I was on autopilot at work and at home around my son, pretending like everything was okay. Then, I woke up one morning at 3:00am after just falling asleep at 2:30am and literally felt my life was draining from my body. I was terrified. I was weak from not eating. I was exhausted from not sleeping. I needed to be better. I was not going to let another heartbreak get the best of me. All I could think was that my boys needed me and if, by some chance, God was going to bring him back to me, he wouldn't want to see me like this. I began by looking up ways to get him back, and suddenly, I was guided to different things such as Law Of Attraction, self-love, self-care, yoga, meditation. Thus began my amazing journey of self-discovery.

I learned that I was enough. I learned that I didn't need anyone to take care of me. I learned a whole new perspective on life. I learned faith, trust, and divine guidance and love. The funny thing was, as I was learning my lessons, he was learning lessons of his own. Each time I would try to give up on us, I would get crazy signs to keep believing. Things that an average person would never believe without seeing, and most of which I was smart enough to record somehow, whether it be through writings or photos or the thousands of 4-leaf, 5-leaf, 6-leaf, and even 7-leaf clovers that I have. Yes...you read that right. These signs from the Universe kept me going even when everyone else encouraged me to let go and move on. I saw a Monarch butterfly migration, thousands of dragonflies flying over my apartment (where there was no water), 4-leaf clovers EVERYWHERE, rainbows when there was no rain, even a white feather fell out of the sky and landed at my feet...a feather I still have, today. By focusing on myself through it all, I learned to love myself, but I also learned that some things, you just know.

Finally, about 10 months later, under very different circumstances, our friendship had proven to be stronger than everything life had thrown at us. Since starting to hang out again, we have had our share of trials. We have learned a lot of lessons, both separately and together. I used the lessons that I had learned while he was gone to teach him self-love and self-care, and he, in turn, reminds me of these lessons when I begin to forget. On May 28, 2022, this man, who had taught me so much about myself, became my husband. Now, it is our goal to help others learn self-love, self-care, happiness, and positivity, so that they may help us to spread these lessons on to others. Each week, our blog will have a new lesson on self-love and self-discovery, and hopefully just some interesting reads for everyone who takes the time to read them. It is our sincere hope that you enjoy our site and that our blog, our products, and our services help you to find joy, peace, and happiness in your own lives. Blessings!